How to Get Over Your Ex in Ninety Days Read online

  “Excuse me for trying to save the English language. I found a great article online with words we should be using in our everyday speech.”

  “I apologize; I didn’t realize what a crusader you were.”

  She smacked my arm. “I do what I can for mankind.”

  “You rank right up there with Mother Teresa.”

  We both laughed. Under the circumstances, I needed it. Especially when Capri was Capri.

  “You forgot to tell me where Kaine is taking you Friday.” She grinned evilly at me. Did I mention that she said that way too loud? Both Mr. Montgomery and Brad looked my way with interest. I could see Mr. Montgomery’s red-spotted skin from where I was. And, unfortunately, our eyes locked. Why was I always looking for his reaction? I needed to get over that. We were over.

  “Well?” Capri demanded.

  I shook my head, trying to get Mr. Montgomery out of it, and focused back on Capri in all her evil glory. She was getting way too much pleasure out of this. “Uh, I don’t know yet.”

  “You should have him take you to that new Chinese bistro that opened up on Market Street.” Now she was going overboard. She knew Mr. Montgomery hated Chinese food. It was one thing we never agreed on.

  Again, I met Mr. Montgomery’s eyes. Dang it. I needed to quit doing that. His chin lowered to his chest. I looked away. He didn’t have a right to be disappointed.

  “I’ve been wanting to try that place, so maybe.” I gave a half-smile to Capri. Growing up, you always dream of those moments when you can exact revenge on your ex, but in reality, it never feels as good as you imagine. I couldn’t take pleasure in causing Jackson pain. And I could tell he was bothered. So maybe he still had some feelings for me. I wasn’t sure if that made me feel better or worse. I was going with worse.

  “Well, that was fun,” Capri remarked on our way back into the school.

  “You’re wicked.”

  “Wicked good. But dang it, I forgot to mention that Kaine was an Auburn fan and you should watch the season opener with him on Saturday.”

  I rolled my eyes at her. “Get to class. And by the way, thank you.”

  She reached back and grabbed my hand. “You’re my girl. And you got this.”

  I sure hoped so.

  Day Thirty-Nine

  Friday, September 3

  Dear Mr. Bingley,

  Today is the day. I’m going on a date with Kaine. He called me to firm up plans last night. It was so weird giving him my number. Even weirder when he called me. He’s taking me to the miniature golf course. I wasn’t sure if we could eat there, but he wants to show me some of his handiwork. Oh, and then we’re going to the game. He’s a huge football fan like everyone else around here. Capri thought it was a fantastic idea. So much so, she’s dragging David to the game. David is the only person in Alabama who wasn’t born with the football gene. He would rather be home reading a book or gaming online with his buddies. Capri never wanted to talk about that part of David’s life. It was their dirty little secret. She did make David learn football lingo so he could pretend, but he was awful at it. It was a source of entertainment for me. Like when he called an interception an intervention. Jackson and I laughed about that for days.

  I need to quit thinking about him. I’m trying.

  Wish me luck,

  Presley

  I was slipping on my new red pumps before work when my mom called. “Hi, Mom. It’s early for you.”

  “I wanted to wish you luck and see if you were still going through with your date?”

  “Was that a question?”

  “You seemed hesitant when we talked a couple of days ago.”

  “I did?”

  “I know you better than you know yourself.”

  I laughed at her and walked out into the partly cloudy day. “Be that as it may, I’m going out with Kaine tonight.”

  “That’s an interesting name.”

  “I suppose so, but it fits him.”

  “Is that so? Should your dad and I be worried?”

  “No, Mom. I don’t think he’s making any deals with the devil to kill me.”

  “In that case, what do you want for your birthday? It’s only a few weeks away, you know.”

  “You mean it isn’t coming on a day other than September 25th?”

  “Well, aren’t you sassy this morning.”

  “I love you, Mom. I just haven’t wanted to think about it. I’m now officially over the national average of when women get married, and I’m the only person in our family who won’t be married before twenty-seven.”

  “Honey, twenty-seven isn’t old. Everyone gets married in their own time. It isn’t a competition.”

  “I think Nikki, Jen, Erin, and Michelle would all disagree with you, especially since they’ve each teased me about it.”

  “Your sisters love you.”

  “Sure they do. I’ve been getting a lot of texts using the word spinster.”

  “You will be the cutest spinster ever.”

  “Thanks, Mom.”

  She laughed. “I’m teasing you. Any guy would be lucky to have you. And maybe things will work out with Jackson.”

  “That’s not going to happen.”

  “Are you sure? Because I kind of had a feeling about him.”

  I paused before I opened my car door. “What feeling?”

  “I shouldn’t say.”

  “Mom.”

  “Okay, it’s just when you walked in with him over spring break, I felt like someone punched me in the arm and said, ‘That’s him. Presley’s going to marry him.’”

  I held back the tears. I had felt the same way. “Does Dad know you’re hearing voices? You may want to get that checked out.” I had to respond with humor. If not, I was going to lose it.

  “It will all be okay, honey.” She knew me so well.

  “I wish I could run home.”

  “I know, but you’re braver than you think, and sometimes things aren’t always as they seem.”

  “What do you mean?”

  “I have a nagging feeling you aren’t seeing the whole picture.”

  I had felt the same way, but . . . “He walked away.”

  “I realize that, but the question is why?”

  “I told you what he said.”

  “And does that ring true to you? To him?”

  “Mom, I have to go.”

  “Be brave, honey. Text me some things you would like for your birthday.”

  I clicked end call and let a few tears fall. That’s where most of my hurt lay. My mom was right. Mr. Montgomery’s behavior as of late wasn’t like the man I knew and loved. But what else could I do but move on? Even if there was more to the story, he behaved in a deplorable manner. I sounded like I watched BBC too much, maybe I had been binge watching since our breakup.

  I tried to shake off the conversation I’d had with my mom all through the day. I should be excited. I was going on a date with an attractive man and I was showing fourth block a series of hilarious videos about stage kisses to hopefully help them feel more comfortable about actually doing it. I was hoping they would psych me up, too, since I was going to have to demonstrate. Again, I should be thrilled. In another lifetime, I would be downright ecstatic that kissing Kaine was in my future, but all I could think about was last year. Talk about excited. You’ve never seen someone so ready and willing to kiss another person. I’ll never forget his grin before our lips met or the wow in his eyes when we parted. I had felt it too. It was like nothing I had ever experienced. He said he had felt the same.

  These thoughts weren’t helping me.

  It didn’t help, either, that Mr. Montgomery showed up to fourth block and sat out in the auditorium.

  “Don’t mind him, my dear. He’s here to evaluate me today.” Mr. Crandall informed me.

  “But I’m teaching this block today.”

  His grin was a little impish. “Silly me, I forgot.”

  I narrowed my eyes. “Sure you did.”

  “Just hel
ping the plot along.” He walked off smiling to himself.

  No matter. I wasn’t going to let Mr. Montgomery phase me. “Everyone take a seat on the stage. We’re going to have a little fun today.” I waited for my students to get situated on the stage. It took longer than it should, but I reminded myself I was dealing with teenagers. “I know everyone is nervous about stage kisses.”

  “Not me,” Leland called out.

  The class laughed, but I noticed Harper blushed. I wondered how she was going to feel when Mr. Crandall and I cast those two as our leads.

  “Everyone settle down. Thank you for your honesty, Leland. But before we get to the videos, let’s go over a few rules of kissing etiquette.” I held up my finger. “Number one, no tongue.”

  The class snickered.

  “Number two, hygiene is a must. Brush your little pearly whites religiously. Mints and gum aren’t a bad idea. Number three, keep your hands where they belong.”

  That was met with more snickering.

  “And last but not least, keep your sick germs to yourself. If you’re not feeling well, don’t infect your classmates.” I smiled out across my attentive audience. “Are you guys ready to be entertained?”

  There was a murmur of agreement.

  I turned on the videos of over-exaggerated stage kisses, or almost kisses. We also watched a video about complete strangers kissing. It was awkward to say the least, but it got several laughs. Mr. Montgomery had joined us on the stage and was laughing, too.

  I tried to ignore him, but as always, found it difficult.

  The videos ended and I headed up to the front of the class again. “So the good news is none of your kisses will be this bad. Or at least we hope not.”

  More laughs and some razzing among the boys.

  “Remember, if you aren’t comfortable kissing on or off the stage, you don’t have to.”

  “Are you going to give us a demonstration?” One of the senior girls asked.

  “Yo, Coach J, show us how it’s done with Ms. Benson,” Leland suggested.

  Mr. Montgomery and I locked eyes in that most uncomfortable way. And to my shock and horror, he began to walk toward me.

  I dropped his gaze and focused back on my class. “Not today.” I was flustered. “Um, Monday, I have a special guest to help me out.”

  Mr. Montgomery stopped dead in his tracks.

  “Rejected,” the boys shouted out.

  Mr. Montgomery stared at me, his face a few shades redder than normal. What was he thinking? I wouldn’t kiss him even if he begged me to. Maybe that was a lie, but I would like to think I would be strong and say no. I wasn’t a Jane.

  “Oooo,” some of the girls giggled. “Is it the guy that’s working on our set? He’s hot.”

  I ran my fingers through my hair. I hadn’t bargained for this. “Settle down. It doesn’t matter who.”

  Mr. Montgomery’s eyes disagreed with that statement.

  I couldn’t even agree with it myself, but dang if Mr. Montgomery would know. “Your homework over the weekend is—”

  There was a collective groan.

  “Have fun.” I grinned.

  They cheered and dispersed, leaving me alone with Mr. Crandall and the man who wouldn’t go away.

  “Have a nice weekend.” Mr. Crandall waved and scurried off the stage. Traitor.

  That left me to ignore Mr. Montgomery and push the TV cart back to the closet where it belonged.

  “Let me get that.” Mr. Montgomery rushed forward.

  “I’ve got it.”

  He grabbed a hold of the cart and stopped my forward momentum. “Presley . . .”

  “What?”

  His eyebrows gathered together. “It doesn’t need to be this way between us.”

  I rubbed my face in my hands. “Says the man who did the leaving. Do you have any idea how much you hurt me? Any at all? Do you even care?”

  He swallowed hard and struggled to speak. “I’m sor—”

  “Don’t you dare say you’re sorry again. And quit talking to Miss Liliana about me. It isn’t fair to her or me. And don’t concern yourself about my love life.”

  “Love life?”

  “That’s right. What, you didn’t think anyone would want me after you?”

  He stepped closer. “How could you think that?”

  “Oh, I don’t know. I’m beginning to see there are a lot of things I should have thought about or maybe not thought about. The question is, how could you?” Against my will, tears sprung up. I wiped them away as quick as they came. I had to wipe furiously.

  He lowered his chin to his chest and breathed out heavily. “If you think for a minute this is how I wanted things to turn out, you’re mistaken.” He walked off, leaving me standing there speechless.

  ~*~

  I didn’t feel like leaving my apartment after my run-in with Mr. Montgomery. For a moment, I had felt better for tearing into him and telling him how I felt, but when that wore off, all that was left was intense sadness. Maybe that was good. Maybe it meant I’d hit that terrible stage of extreme grief, and once I passed it, I could move on. But the pain was so real I wasn’t sure how to overcome it.

  I dug in deep and called on my inner Elizabeth. I sat up on my bed. I was almost halfway to my goal, I reminded myself. I was a lion, not a kitten. I could roar instead of meow. I was on offense, not defense. I was a Benson. I could do this.

  I placed some cold spoons—I had put them in the refrigerator earlier—over my eyes to get rid of the puffiness from crying. It sounded odd, but it worked. I had a large supply of them, just in case.

  Capri called as I lay there looking like an alien with metal over my eyes. “Are you okay? I heard you and Jackson had it out on the stage today.”

  “Is nothing sacred at that school?”

  “I’m afraid not. But good for you.”

  “You should see me now.”

  “Spoons?”

  I laughed. “Yeah, lots of them.”

  “Try and forget about him and have fun tonight.”

  “I’ve been trying to for the past thirty-nine days.”

  “Hang in there and let loose. Make me proud. We’ll see you at the game.”

  “Save us a spot.” Meow, I mean ROAR.

  Day Forty

  Saturday, September 4

  Dear Mr. Bingley,

  Why didn’t you tell me not to go on my date with Kaine? I fear I despise you even more. It was the most awkward night of my life. Even more awkward than when I came out of the bathroom at senior homecoming with my dress tucked into my spanx. You remember that? I wrote a book about it to you. Well, hold on. You are in for another story.

  It didn’t even get started off on the right foot. He was late, for starters. I forgave him for that because he looked fantastic in tight fitting jeans and his Auburn t-shirt. But that didn’t last long. I know my expectations are high—Jackson raised the bar. The bar should have always been as high as it is now, but honestly, Jackson set the standard. It was simple things like opening my door. Last night, I stood at his truck door waiting for him to open it out of habit. Kaine had already gotten in the driver’s side. He gave me a what’s-up look through the window when I just stood there. I realized then my night wouldn’t go as planned, but I was ROARING not meowing, so I proceeded.

  He took me to the miniature golf course and I thought we would be playing a round, but no, he just wanted to show me the windmill he built there. I did say superficial, so I have no one to blame but myself, and Jackson of course, but more on him later. The windmill was nice. I even complimented him on it. That was a mistake. You see, he and his fiancée, or should I say ex-fiancée, broke up over said windmill. My second mistake was to ask him why. We took a seat on the AstroTurf near the windmill and there I was treated to the whole sordid affair, which was more like the tale of a man who still wanted to be a boy.

  As it turns out, thirty-year-old Kaine wanted to be twenty-year-old Kaine, which didn’t sit well with his beautiful ex, Sandra. Sh
e really is beautiful. I saw several pictures of her on his phone. That was a real treat. Apparently, Kaine quit his lucrative job at a tech firm in Birmingham so he could pursue his dream of building things. The windmill was his first and only paying job. Yeah, the school wasn’t going to pay him. That was all volunteer.

  Mr. Crandall took pity on his errant nephew and is letting him crash at his place until he gets his life sorted out. I couldn’t muster up any sympathy for him, even when he cried. Yes, that happened. I basically told him to man up and go get his engineering job back and be a grownup. I told him that though we women can certainly stand on our own, we don’t want to take care of boys. For all our independence, we want to know a man can take care of us if needed. When he got done sniffling, we left for the game where I bought him a Coke and a hotdog. I felt like I was taking my own nephew out.

  I haven’t even gotten to the highlight yet. I know you’re thinking, what could be worse? Let me tell you. No sooner had we settled in near Capri and David, a man a showed up. Now this man, unlike Kaine, didn’t leave his girlfriend for carefree fun and no income. No, this man left her because she wasn’t good enough for his new administration position or his dad. Both idiots. I can’t say which one was worse. You men are a piece of work. And guess who got to sit in between the two jerks? You’re right for once, Mr. Bingley, it was me.

  Jackson had the audacity . . . no, first I should say that David and Jackson have been keeping in touch. They’ve been keeping their friendship hidden from Capri and myself. Yep, guess who’s been playing online games with David? You would think he should be studying or something. Didn’t he tell me that’s why we had to break up, because he had been messing around? So maybe it was all a lie. He was just done with me. He obviously hates me because he asked David to move over and he sat right next to me. Doesn’t he get what his body does to my body?

  I scooted as close as I could to Kaine, who was on the phone with Sandra trying to work it out. You think I’m kidding. I wish I was. Do you know what it’s like to be on a date with a man who talks to his ex for most of it? I don’t know how many times I heard the phrase, “Baby, I’m so sorry, please forgive me.” My favorite was, “I fished your engagement ring out of the toilet.”